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"Our journey on Earth is like a burning matchstick. We know
that the matchstick will burn itself out once it reaches its end. But sometimes,
all it takes is small gust of wind to extinguish the flame of life...! " - Rohan Thakur, Way Back Home
It’s another normal day but with a pinch of special treatment. The very same day – when you were brought to home (as if from a market) or dropped (by the gods) wrapped in white piece of cloth – that’s what mums tell us when we are young. Family and friends wish you and make you feel ‘special’ and eventually the day starts belonging to you! It is ‘your’ day after all and the mood is set up for celebration. It is very happy feeling which we are trained to experience since childhood. Well, ‘my day’ (almost always) used to be the first or the second day of the new academic year and thus I was pampered by new class teachers on the very first day – quite a good feeling indeed! But now, twenty six years after that happy day, things are not quite same. I find myself draped in some weird thoughts.
Why we celebrate Birthdays?
Of course its the anniversary of
the day when you were born… when you inhaled oxygen for the first time, when
you got 'life'...
So, on birthdays we are
celebrating LIFE!
But then, what is life? Its a
journey. A journey towards a definite destination. It’s a journey that has
begun and will end, for everything that has been created will be destroyed. It’s
a journey in which you do not travel alone; you are born as a kid and your
parents, within the cover of their love, care and protection, help you reach a
stage where you can talk and interact with other kids. There the first
‘connection’ of this journey is made – the relationship with your parents! This
connection helps building you more connections when you are sent to school. In
school you meet up several like-minded kids daily. There you start building up
'frequencies' with most compatible of the lot - you call them ‘friends’. With
the help of these buddies you move on in your journey with much more ease and
security. Then, as we grow up, the importance of 'gurus' come into play. Though,
a 'guru' is a very indefinite post as anyone can be a guru (a teacher) but let
us stick to the technical term for now. With the help of a guru you learn the
'basics' of life. A code of conduct (education) is given by these gurus, which
if you follow during the journey of life, might turn you into a civilized human
being. Being civilized means you are a part of civilization and thus thousands
of people who are moving along with you in this journey of life, directly or
indirectly, are connected to you in some or the other way. When you realize
that you are supposed to be concerned with the society (civilization) as well,
you come out of the bubble you were living in and your connections or circles
grow even more. Some connections are emotional and thus strong as they are
natural bonds; and others are professional, meaningful, meant to solve a
purpose and thus remain weak but equally important for the journey. And one day
you realize that in this journey of life, which you were supposed to walk
alone, you are actually being accompanied by thousands of people, everyone
connected to you somehow.
Thus, in fact, on birthday you
are celebrating your life and you are also celebrating the relationships that
you have gained till date - you are celebrating your childhood, your
adolescence, your youth, your family, your friendships, your companions, etc.
And maybe that’s why we celebrate it every year so that we can update our own 'bahee-khaata' (balance sheet) of
relationships that have been added in.
That makes sense.
But, unknowingly, during this
journey we grow 'attachments'. Attachment with those very same connections that
you have been building till date. Attachment with those whose presence we
celebrate every year on our own birthday. Attachment is a nice thing, it
reminds you that people love you and care about you. One feels good to know
that someone else values him more than anyone else. But then it comes with a feeling
of insecurity. Attachment comes with a feeling of fear - fear of losing the
ones you are attached to. Till date you have never traversed through the
journey of life alone. No one does. At every step you have taken help from
someone. That has made you 'dependent'. And thus you ‘fear’. You are afraid
because you don’t know how to travel alone. One would never learn that
throughout his life.
But one travels alone in death.
People accompany them till a point 'jiske
aagey koi sath nahin jaata' - The ultimate destination. Everybody in this
journey is traveling to reach that point. Some call it moksha, some call it
nirvana, and some wish to see jannat and some heaven. Everyone comes to life
and travels so as to reach the same destination.
One attains this destination when
he is freed from the bondages; bondages of life.
Wait, bondages? Where they came
in from?
Q. What are the bondages?
A. The attachments B. The
relationships C. The connections or D. All of them
Well, that brings us to the
conclusion that on birthdays we actually celebrate our BONDAGES.
Then, there are different forms
of bondages also. After being travelling in this journey for twenty six years
one realizes his/her responsibilities towards other fellow travelers. Imagine
it as a caravan. You are tired and you want to have some water and sit and
relax somewhere under a tree but you cannot as the caravan won’t stop for you.
Thus, if you want to 'celebrate life' (birthday) in a particular way, you
cannot, as you are bounded by responsibilities.
So, another conclusion is that on
birthdays we also celebrate our responsibilities, whether we wish to or not, we
have to.
All in all, we celebrate!
Maybe we celebrate due to our
responsibilities, bondages or even out of fear. We are afraid of the
'uncertainties' of this caravan. You don’t know when you'll have to leave the
caravan or when others will leave it. ‘Leave’ is the wrong word. Actually, we
are afraid of when the journey will be over. But this fear also starts
diminishing as you carry on with this journey (or live for more years). The
experience of life tells you how to react when someone else's journey is over.
But then it gets complicated when someone else completes his journey before you
do. It becomes difficult for those who are left behind to continue the journey.
But, if we know that all are
moving towards one single ultimate destination then why we don’t celebrate it
when someone reaches his destination? Why we don’t celebrate death? “One can
see the 'celebration of death' in Banaras”, one of my friend recently told me. Fascinating!
Isn’t it? We do not celebrate death as we, who are left behind in the journey,
always find the death of other person 'untimely'. We feel that someone who left
the journey before might have not reached his destination. Thus we repent the
loss, for some time, and then we move on with the caravan.
We have mastered this art of ‘moving
on'. So much so that we have particular set of days to feel sorrow. We know
that any moment of this journey could be the last one and thus we celebrate
things which value or cater directly to the 'moving' caravan. For, we don’t
have any idea about what is happening with those who have completed the
journey.
Under the influence of this
'anticipation' of what is going to happen next, we created birthdays. We
ourselves designed a model where we celebrate life and not the death; we
celebrate the beginning and not the end. As we celebrate death of only those whom
‘we’ think have reached their destination based on the number of years they
traveled. In this model of celebration we celebrate everything that is worldly,
which has been attained in this life. Thus all the things attained (materialistic
or emotional) during this journey is celebrated on birthdays. This model also
defines that the 'living' person is incapable of identifying or visualizing anything
beyond this journey of life. Whatever we achieve, whatever we can see,
everything that is 'known' is thus celebrated. On the other hand, everything
mysterious, indefinite, unsolved remains as an imagination. Thus we celebrate
all practical things as we find ourselves incapable of listening to our
intellect (imagination).
The brain thinks consciously and
sub-consciously - the mixture of practical and emotional. A child doesn’t think
practically. An old person is also emotional - those who are near to the world
of 'unknown' are emotional. One becomes practical only when one is travelling
through life so as to understand and adjust to the needs of the caravan. As
soon as you leave the childhood, a sense of being practical and responsible
comes into force which stays till the age drops. Thus we celebrate
practicalities and formalities on birthdays.
So, finally, being in the age of
practicality I should celebrate my formalities too.
Together, today I am celebrating
LIFE – All my Relationships – friendships – responsibilities – bondages
– uncertainties - fears – practicalities
– formalities – and of course the Journey itself
Usually I do not celebrate all
these on my birthdays. Usually it is a pretty much ‘happy’ child like affair
which ends up treating my dear ones and spending some time and talking to those
who are close to me. This time, instead, my mind is celebrating the uncertainty
of this journey called life. Unfortunately, I got to witness the ‘end’ of the
journey of few dear ones in the past year. The attachments, the memories, the
times spent, all goes for a six in one moment. One ‘moves on’ ultimately with
the caravan. But the effect of those ‘untimely’ exits on those who were
travelling along is unbearable. The uncertainty is cruel. And thus I wanted to
mark down and register my state of mind on this day of my journey.
Today indeed I celebrate the
lives of all those who are with me throughout this journey much more than I
celebrate my own life. Reminds me of these lines –
“Zindagi ko bahut pyaar humne diya…
Maut se bhi mohabbat nibhayenge hum…
Rote – rote zamaane mein aaye magar,
Haste haste zamaane se jayenge hum…
Jayenge par kidhar, hai kise ye khabar,
koi samjha nahin koi jana nahin…!”
